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On the eve of finishing the hopeful and mediocre and overpriced Super Mario Wonderful, we will soon be seeing Super Mario RPG released under claim that it’s “remastered.”
Rather felt it was rather well mastered on day 1, maybe some things could be better, I wonder what would be worth the re-release of an old Super Nintendo era game, I think I played on the Switch System already.
Well all they can claim, up to this point, is a graphical touch up made with a likely simple and cheep javascript somehow justifies a nearly 80 dollars in Great Red North Money. I would disagree.
Save it.
Star Ocean The Second Story R (NSW) is 65, and I am grinding my teeth on that notion, although it’s been a while longer since I played it.
Nintendo should be ashamed.


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Categories Console, Switch

Your 2 Coins

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So your ready to get ready for a new hard hitting adventure with Link as he chases the tail that will never put out?
Well, guess you’ll have to be satisfied for Nintendo’s most expensive Switch game, to date, well….more like an expansion game to the Breath of the Wild, with additional content from Skyward Sword.
Sure it’s got a lot of excellent exploration like BoTW, but even less treasure to find, and that’s with the added sky ruins.
It has you ready for a prequel and then discovering it isn’t and then wondering why the fuck it has an alive Zelda in it.
Don’t worry you can build a car, but don’t stop there, there is a special skill called “Map.
If your lucky you might get a chance to not finish an messed up trial on a sky track, or wonder why your saving millions of blue prints you’re never going to use.
Guess what else, long are gone the days where your bothered with a special ring to lift a heavy object early in the game, or even have one of those annoying spell medallions. Who needs to send Ether at an enemy, you have Topaz!
On top of all this, you can collect useless weapons and use a “special,” with an emphasis on that word, skill to merge weapons, instead of a crafting board. Oh and guess what, the weapons can also break after a while.
Why bother with weapons stores, dealers and holding on to a new useful weapon or tool, when it can break partly into a battle.
If you want to roam around and enjoy the sights, it may be for you. For 100 Cdn after tax, it’s a rip off.
If you want to know why your hunting around for cut scenes all day, it may be for you.
If you want to enjoy a LoZ game, the Switch has Link’s Awakening. Enjoy it.


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Categories LoZ, Switch

Your 2 Coins

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Splatoon 3 is as to Splatoon 2 lesser in story mode and a little different in Salmon Run.
Splatoon 3’s story mode starts with an interesting battle against DJ Octavio and goes on to another disappearance from the clearly stupid Captain Cuttlefish, again…. The first Boss, which happens to be, like the others, a member of the mainstream Media, accurate.
This is the toughest Boss fight you’ll likely encounter. The rest get easier and easier, except maybe 3rd wave of the Ray and perhaps Grizz’s Rocket (just the stage, actually).
Splatoon 2 had a tougher final Stage, and not as long.
Who the hell knows why Salmon run doesn’t stop at the end of this thing I am spoiling, or why the hell Mr. Grizz managed to get Octos to aide him in the ‘Mammal Revolution.’
Salmon Run has fun to it, but seems some rounds do have a easy switch to it from 3, although it may be how the battles are Randomized a bit.
Communication Errors still happen quite a bit.
I swear they recycled a few stages from 2 into the Story Mode.
It’s a toss up, it’s still quite a bit fun with a needlessly huge city area. Guess you can spot my enthusiasm for this game. Not like 2.
It will leave you asking, “Don’t Cephalopods (Squid/Octopus/Cuttlefish) eat Salmon as well?”


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Categories Switch, Console

Your 2 Coins

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It’s alright, but you’d hope for better, giving cost and hype.
- Characters are low, given your looking at 4 character team.
- Cup Elimination, kind of limited, maybe one more flow branch was needed, maybe groups.
- Online has some issues, someone beat me after the clock ran out.
- It’s a cute, mild time waster, at best.

Since Megan Soccer, on Super Nintendo, this type of game has been missing, seems for good reason.
Despite being a cure time waster, this game has little to say about it, little of it positive.
You’d think they could program some other characters like Wart, Shy Guy (multiple colors), Boo, Koopa (Multiple Colors) and so on, given the amount of characters and likely hope that multiple players actually engage it.
The single player cups are ok, but elimination should at least be doubled in branches.
The best part, is it had no first day download.

Not sure about the online cup, it’s on in a few days, I have little in the way of optimism.

It is not worth the cost, and if there is DLC for this, paid DLC, it deserves a major “fuck you!”

Edit: Amusingly enough, Sniffit would have been a useful character here, stuff the ball and fire!


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Categories Console, Switch

Your 2 Coins

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What a dread the most was having to play through Metroid Dread, and after the first area Boss realize that Metroid is a shadow of itself.
Now it’s starts off nicely, it has interesting switch based puzzles. A freaky chase, and a Boss requiring strategy.
The thing however, Metroid Dread feels longer than it is. It’s not fun. On the GBA it was fun.
It’s beautiful, it has some challenge, if a robot pursuer that can freak you out and piss you off. All nice.
It’s just less fun that any previous game, it feels stretched out. Not totally boring, but even the first Boss, it’s like, it has a technique, but it feels repetitive and monotonous. You aren’t satisfied and pleased you beat it, you just feel “finally it’s over.”
I can hope it gets better, but flowing around the next area, it’s like eh.
Another thing, it’s a game that has this habit of looking non-linear and it’s basically linear, which is fine if it doesn’t have all that map that keeps you wondering and eager to at least check out. Beating the first area closes parts of it off.

Game Play Score: 50% (Can Take it or Leave It)
Aesthetics: 80%
Controls: 67%

*If I saved you money, consider donating (also if Huffinglue Post or My Stand Up Site Amused You).

On Minds+


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Categories Switch, Console

Your 2 Coins

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Morons went on a while back, sorry “game journalists,” about CJ giving it to his Chameleon friend, yeah, Gay couple. I never wanted to fuck my best friends so I say, “bullshit.” But today something popped up. Apple Came Out. In A Letter, Tweeted below. Now I say Lesbo, not assuming it isn’t Bi, but the wonderful little Hamster Biped articulates one of her past attractions well below.
Bisexuals have nothing in the way of interesting short-forms. Nothing like Lezzer and Lesbo. Maybe I’ll try Bio, oh no, not that. That’s asking for a Bio Hazard joke. Ok, we are past that now.
The point is, Nintendo slipped this in there, not for clicks, not for glory seeking, not for claiming some woke prize or attention. Because they wanted to. Or later we will find out it was a huge translation mistake and NoJ is pissed.
No matter they aren’t Gay Baiting, Pink washing. Just subtle respectable nudging. Not some intersectional bible thumping.


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Categories Switch, ACNH

Your 2 Coins

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Now granted my enjoyment of this game is likely to be more disturbed by the battle system, but at least it’s with this series, and the only thing that binds the games solidly aside from a terrible take on metaphysics, granted in a less serious way Bioshock Infinite did it badly.
The one thing and one way enjoyment can be destroyed is not only the Torna extended story was better than the main one, but the fact Legendary Crystal Cores are the least likely to find rare blades in the endless lotto.
The thing that has hit me in the translation, may be slammed easily, if not thought about. Since it’s subtext and not preached. It’s the notion of English or British drivers are Enslaving American Blades by the leash and can easily smack of colonialism.
Really it points to a great foreign policy problem since WWII, treating the British like good allies made bitches of the United States (even WWI, but that was more due to a false flag attack by Minister of War Winston Churchill on an American ship, blamed on the Germans). WWII to current, basically the US war machine has been twisted around British fingers sending CrusAide to British Colonial Spots and in WWII (not caring a thing for Jews) the US went in for a whimpering limp dicked English or British military machine. They will claim it was all their success however. Jumping into the European end of the Axis was what made Pearl Harbor a sitting duck (as the Japanese do know), when the US could have easily prepared to collect Canada and England owned Carribean Islands to keep Hitler out of North America.
As it is without picking sides in Europe it would just take one fight in a Russian Winter to stalemate it into an eventual loss for both Soviet and SS lowlife.
No matter British interest in controlling old colonial Middle East locations, even to the Success of Israel, as with it’s eventual desire to regain the US by inspiring a growth a Permenent Civil Service (a British Tradition) through big Government and Pro-War Globalism.
Basically the disturbing view of the American on a British Leash is a lesson of US foreign policy errors. Know your Enemy.


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Categories Switch, Console

Your 2 Coins

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